Recently, I’ve found that my life has been changing with the seasons. The photo above was taken this past October, just a few months into my senior year. That was last fall, my last year as a student, and this fall marks my first year not being a student. Pretty insane. I always associate these new beginnings with the season of fall, and so each autumn holds memories that I cannot forget. The cooler air brings me back to years past, and the falling leaves carry a sense of nostalgia that seems to follow me wherever I go.
For the past seven years of my life, fall has meant field hockey practices, school supplies shopping, football games, and the start of a new year. It’s odd and slightly uncomfortable for me to think about the fact that all of that has passed, and that it is time for me to move on with my life. I haven’t spoken about this yet here on AbundantlyKate, but back in April, I decided to withdraw my deposit from the college I was planning to attend, and instead take a gap year to work and essentially “figure things out.” I believe 100% that this is what I am supposed to be doing, but it is difficult for me to feel the fall coming and know that things are going to be different. In a strange way, I know I am going to miss going to high school every morning. I’m going to miss the football games, spirit week, and all of the other things that signify that period of my life. It’s so hard to let all of that slip away, but I know that I need to let it go. My time has come to an end, and now it is so vitally important for me to leave all of those memories in the rearview mirror, and focus on the road that is right in front of me.
This fall will be filled with nostalgia, some heartache, and probably a few tears. I don’t doubt that I will have moments of “what am I doing?” – insecurities that make me unsure of my decision. But in these times of complication, I must remember that this is just another season of life, blooming with the seasons that are changing just outside my window.
Hello September, I am ready for you.